Westin Glass of everyone's favourite post punk pioneers The Thermals guest blogs on the most annoying food carts in Portland. Why, we hear you ask? Well, why not?
If you've been following the media's fashionable infatuation with Portland lately, you probably know our rainy little freaktopia is famous for its fabulous four-hundred-plus food carts, sprouting up like greasy little chanterelle mushrooms in every damp corner of the city. They range from cheap French cuisine to gourmet Thai, but they all share one thing: a love for cute, punny names. So cue up your favorite twee-folk album and let's hop on our tall/recumbent/fixed-gear bikes for a tour of the worst groaners!
10. Give Pizza A Chance (SW 5th and Washington) This is worse than jokes my dad makes. Their pizza is really good though.
9. Yarp!? (SE 12th and Hawthorne) Way to tell me absolutely nothing about your food. Except maybe that it's weird, and confusing, and excessively punctuated.
8. Garden State (N Mississippi and Skidmore) "This cart will change your life." So possibly this Italian food cart was around before the movie by the same name, but they are right across the lot from Nuevo Mexico, a delicious New Mexican food cart owned by a former member of the The Shins. [Natalie Portman's character in Garden State famously said the Shins song "New Slang" would "change your life."] If things get any more precious around here I'm gonna hurl.
7. Wet Hot Beef (NE Martin Luther King and Graham) Um, no thanks.
If you've been following the media's fashionable infatuation with Portland lately, you probably know our rainy little freaktopia is famous for its fabulous four-hundred-plus food carts, sprouting up like greasy little chanterelle mushrooms in every damp corner of the city. They range from cheap French cuisine to gourmet Thai, but they all share one thing: a love for cute, punny names. So cue up your favorite twee-folk album and let's hop on our tall/recumbent/fixed-gear bikes for a tour of the worst groaners!
10. Give Pizza A Chance (SW 5th and Washington) This is worse than jokes my dad makes. Their pizza is really good though.
9. Yarp!? (SE 12th and Hawthorne) Way to tell me absolutely nothing about your food. Except maybe that it's weird, and confusing, and excessively punctuated.
8. Garden State (N Mississippi and Skidmore) "This cart will change your life." So possibly this Italian food cart was around before the movie by the same name, but they are right across the lot from Nuevo Mexico, a delicious New Mexican food cart owned by a former member of the The Shins. [Natalie Portman's character in Garden State famously said the Shins song "New Slang" would "change your life."] If things get any more precious around here I'm gonna hurl.
7. Wet Hot Beef (NE Martin Luther King and Graham) Um, no thanks.
6. Bro Dogs (SW 5th and Washington) OK, actually, this name is kind of funny.
5. Three-way tie: Kim Jong Grillin' (SE 50th and Division) / Built to Grill / Happy Grillmore (both at SW 3rd and Stark) Hutch and I are going to open an ALF-themed cart called "I Grill Me!" No, cat will not be on the menu.
4. Starchy & Husk (NE Killingsworth and Greeley) Not only is the name a painful pun, it's also misleading. This cart sells mac & cheese, which I'm pretty sure isn't made from corn?
3. The Dump Truck (SW 9th and Washington) They make dumplings, so I guess I get it. But that's definitely not the first thing this name brings to mind...more like prunes, coffee, and Ex-Lax cupcakes.
2. Lucille's Balls (SE 43rd and Belmont) I guess they serve meatballs and veggie meatballs. I don't know if the proprietor is actually named Lucille. This really isn't whetting my appetite, dudes.
1. Da-Pressed (SE 43rd and Belmont) This espresso cart seems to be advertising themselves as the exact thing we Portlanders are trying to cure with coffee! They are quite proud of the name, judging by the 3-foot high bright yellow Austin Powers typeface on their sign.
So now you know. The Thermals' new album 'Personal Life' is out now.
Go to FoodcartsPortland to see more pictures of Portland's most annoying food cart names.
This guest blog complies to Virgin.com terms & conditions.
Комментариев нет:
Отправить комментарий